About Being Kind: I Am Immortal?

Hey internet. I know it hasn't been a long time since we last talked but a lot has changed. I said the same thing in my last post about seven days ago but I sort of actually mean it this time. I have physically, mentally and emotionally changed all together, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. Let me elaborate.

I didn't realize this until today but for the longest time I was stuck in a situation that I didn't want to be in. I know I wrote to you all to "just keep swimming", and to keep your head afloat and such metaphors like that. However its hard to tread water when you just don't feel like treading water anymore, so I just kind of stopped. And I won't lie, that was really scary. Eventually though I came back up for air.

Then it hit me. We're humans, why are we treading water? Aren't we supposed to be walking on dry land? That's why we have two legs and feet and toes. They aren't webbed. We don't have gills for lungs and fins for arms. We aren't supposed to be living in the sea, and the sea isn't supposed to be trying to consume us. If it is then you (or I) have a problem that needs fixing.

I guess what that really long-winded metaphor is trying to say is that I needed a change in my life. Something had to give. I wasn't doing something right, like not letting my feelings out, or not taking care of myself the right way. That's why I almost drowned in all of my problems, or "the sea".

What started me down that path to my own watery fate? How can I come back to the shore and walk on without approaching the sea again? If I do go for a swim how can I come back to shore? These are the questions facing me now, and the challenges I have to overcome. However out of all of this metaphorical talk I want to enlighten you all on one way to be kind to yourself.

Don't ever swim so far out to sea that you can't see the shore.

Being kind to yourself means that you don't let the sea of your problems or other people's problems consume you. You also don't tread there thinking you can outlast the ocean. That's like saying you can live forever. Unless you are immortal I doubt that.

When you feel like your drowning, take a step back, I beg you. Reevaluate your choices, goals, priorities, events, situations, thoughts, feelings, anything! Then change it. You can even have someone you trust help you, it doesn't matter who it is or how you do it. Just do it before you slam to the bottom. Unlike the physical world you don't gradually float down there, you hit it hard. As if your falling except someone threw you down. Some wise people I know like to call this low "rock bottom".

In any case I really hope you take this little piece of wisdom with you guys. This is one of my biggest issues in life. Even though I am only talking in metaphors I am sure you are intelligent enough to understand what I mean. I would hate to have someone else go through this ordeal or smile through their pain. Trust me, it is not fun, nor easy to do despite what some may think.

Alright internet, gotta stop ranting at you now. Hope you get what I mean though and take my advice. Talk to you later.

~Claire~

About Being Kind: Thanks Dory

Hey blog readers and readers with ulterior motives (reading this because your bored out of your mind) alike. I apologize for not writing in a while. I don't remember if I posted this in my last blog post or previous blog posts but I have recently moved back into college so I may not post as much as I normally do. College life is very hectic and stressful in general so the best way I can put this is that you must be prepared to have any kind of curve ball thrown at you. Anything at all, because no one can ever really know what its like until they get here. I certainly didn't.

A lot has changed since we last talked. I won't lie to you guys, things have been extremely difficult. Most of it I cannot tell you because of confidentiality with me and with others. Breaking that would not be right, so I am not. However it is because of these things I have had trouble keeping my head up. I feel like I'm treading water in the middle of the ocean with nothing around for hours and my my body is getting tired to the point of giving out. I cannot speak the same for myself but if that ever happens to you guys, always make sure you can see the shore, so to speak. Because I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone. It sucks, and the more you tread the worse it gets.

What others have told me helps getting out of low points, is keeping a schedule and sticking to it helps. Making that plan for yourself and having a goal will make accomplishment so much sweeter when you get there. I know when I do the stuff I have planned for the day, like chores or homework, out of the way I feel good. If you just focus on those things, you will feel more fulfilled and successful.

Keep doing what makes you happy. If you have hobbies that you love to do like reading or writing, or even just surfing the internet looking up random videos of snorting puppies, do it. My escape is playing the piano and writing music. I could sit there for hours just playing and writing songs, even if I don't remember them later.

Always keep doing a physical activity. Whether it be a sport or just going to the gym. It helps get that excess energy out and makes you tired to help you sleep at night. Don't give up on it, or fall behind because then you'll feel badly and embarrassed. I always rag on myself for not going to the gym, or swimming laps enough. That's something I need to keep up on.

However if you are anything like me you are incapable of taking your own advice. (Or at least the advice I've been told that I am passing along to you) From this point I (or you) have two options, let the low consume or just keep swimming. I'd rather just keep swimming. You never know what the future has to hold for you. If you miss out on what up ahead then you'll never know what could have been. I mean once you get to a certain low, there's nowhere to go but up. So Thanks Dory, I'll just keep swimming.