About Being Kind: Stand By You

Hey Internetians, It's 10:30 on a Tuesday morning, about 20 minutes out from my first (and last :D) class of the day. You know you wouldn't think that in that time span of the morning you would learn a life lesson, but somehow, it happened to me. I thought to myself, as most people would, "Ugh, its too early for this sh*t." hahaha. However these things don't really run by your schedule, and things happen in the most unexpeted places. By this point I've just learned to roll with it, haha. Let me elaborate a bit...

This morning I went to class totally terrified about doing my ten minute presentation. It was for a songwriting seminar and it was about the authenticity of music, and how special the art songwriting is in pop culture. I had to do it over the span of a weekend because I was away in Paris, France, (I'll come back to that too, its important) all spring break so I didn't have a chance to complete it.  I was nervous for that reason for the fact that in this class a topic like that is going to be contraversial.

Least to say it was contraversial. The first two projects went off wonderfully, and no one in the class had anything to say about them. However when I did mine, everyone in the class spoke out for it, against and it clearly voiced their opinions. I turned into a little bit of a debate within the class about what defines a songwriter. It made some people mad, some people agreed, and some people just didn't care. Reguardless I was just taken back by it all and was nervous that I failed and made the entire class upset, including the professors.

On my trip to Paris, France my roommate and I got into an disagreement over a misunderstanding. I tried to make peace with her, and get her to understand what I was saying but it really didn't work the way I thought it would. Within our arguing too she pointed out somethings about my opinion that I could have expressed to her better and I took that to heart, because she was right. However I wasn't going to drop my opinion or how I felt because of it. In the end we dropped the argument and I left the country feeling awkward, upset, and confused. I was peaceful, and amicable, but she still didn't work with me to make peace, and I didn't understand why.

Today during that presentation, those things came together, and I remembered what one of my professors had told me. That not everyone is going to like your work or agree with you in certain aspects but as long as you enjoy it that's what really matters. Then I thought about how broad the guidelines for this presentation were and how much of an opinion based class this was and I realized it didn't matter. My topic had created buzz, but it's my opinion. Who am I if I don't have my opinions and stick to them? Even though opinions can change and people can change if I am swayed by some tiny disagreement I loose my sense of self, which is important in knowing oneself.

The point being that, you can't please everyone. If you change your opinions and beliefs based on the opinions of others then you loose yourself. That's what I need to work on. I was so focused on whether people were going to like this presentation or not I overstepped the fact that it created this debate that the other projects hadn't. Good or bad, it was cool to see other students speaking out and letting their opinions on the subject heard. That to me, meant that my project has succeeded in one aspect.

For the longest time I was too passive. You know, going around trying to please and serve everyone and everything. Doing what I could to survive, and be amicable with everyone, have everyone like me. However, I had lost myself in the process and as I am getting older I am starting to find myself again, thats conflicting with my ability to be able to be friends with everyone. Realizing this, I know now that I have to find a balance between making my opinions known to people, and standing by them, and then being passive enough to still work with people and their opinions and their beliefs. Like everything in life, its a balance. I haven't exactly figured out quite what that balance is yet, but armed with my new tools I hope I'll be able to figure it out.

About Being Kind: The Swimmer's Ear (This is the last water reference, I swear!)

Hey internet! So I know its been a little while since we talked, but not too long though which is good. Things in college haven't been easy as you know. I spend a lot of my time going to classes, eating, going to the gym, and doing homework. When I'm not doing those things then I go online. . . (Sometimes I go online when I'm supposed to be doing homework but that's besides the point) Hahahaha Anyways, during my last few weeks since we've spoken I've had to learn a hard lesson here that I want to pass on to you, especially those of you who are around my age, over or under eighteen years old. It may not seem like it at first but I promise the message behind this lesson relates back to being kind.

So to keep things anonymous I am not going to tell the story of how exactly I learned this lesson. Instead I am going to propose a hypothetical situation in which what I learned can be applied. This is going to sound kind of simple but here it goes . . . Imagine a kid who is a swimmer. This kid has been a swimmer all his life and loves it. He is only taught one type of stroke, let's say free style. As the kid grows up he is set in his ways and habits and they become more concrete in his mind. However when he goes off on his own and continues swimming either for his college, a community team, or a professional team, he must learn to swim a different kind of stroke (ex. backstroke, breath stroke, butterfly,). This shatters the concrete style and routine he has come to know in his mind. He struggles physically and mentally-a lot of questions come up in his mind. Can he accept and learn these new styles? Or does he not give in to the pressures of this new outside influence to what he already knows? 

This is the kind of situations I was facing here at college, and was adding to my stress. What I had already come to learn as a child was being challenged in the sea of new things and places. (I know I have been making a lot of ocean references for my posts lately, I'll come up with something new next time. Promise! Haha) The problem wasn't in the fact that these new things were coming up, the problem was the fact that I was fighting it. Even though I participated in these activities in a daily basis, I let my pride determine whether I was going to actually take it in or not. I would think to myself, "I know better," "That's the wrong way to do it".  I would listen and pay attention to what I was being taught, but in my head I would put everything down based on my own limited knowledge of the world. I would plan around it, try and do it my way and still make it seem like I was trying. Which sucks because you could miss out on some pretty cool stuff if you tune everything out like that. 

Over the course of this month I slowly started to realize what was happening. I realized I wasn't taking in anything and always in a state of somewhat frustration which isn't fun. So instead I tried to relax and go with the flow, and that works a lot better when it comes to stress level. However its not like I just gave up on my opinions. I still have them, everyone is entitled to their own. Instead I found a different way of filtering what I hear. I want to learn and retain as much as I can, but at the same time get rid of negative energy. Usually I keep to the facts and get rid of the opinions based off assumptions, whether it be mine or someone else's. 

One last thing internetians, just because someone else has a different outlook then you does not make them bad people in the least. Again, everyone is entitled to have their own outlook and their own opinion in this world. The fact they are trying to share this knowledge with me should have made me want to understand, to listen. That's part of being kind? Listening and respecting others? Why should I let my pride get in the way of that? They deserve as much respect as I would want if I were teaching or speaking.

I am also not a bad person for taking in their opinion they give with their lessons. See, what I learned there is certain ear you have to pick to filter in the good things and filter out the bad. Even though I am still working on that, I need to learn and thrive from as much as I can. That's how I'll be the best I can be as an adult. 

As I have ventured on this new ear of mine I have discovered a lot of the opinions that seemed to have contradicted with mine are actually not bad at all. Some things I will never be able to believe but that just goes without saying right? 

~Claire~