Hey everyone! So in the blog I have to talk to you guys about some super hard stuff, so I hope you understand if I ramble a little bit. However I believe that this blog post might be one of the most important ones I have ever written, because its about the secret of life, so I have to write it. I have to tell you what I have learned because I believe its so so so so so so important. I guess now that I've said that I should move on to the hard part which will make this all make sense...
Three years ago my grandmother passed away. He had lived a long time in a nursing home until finally cancer took her life. Everyone in my family was devastated. However we all were focused on helping my grandfather survive because we all expected him to fall apart, but he didn't. He held himself together was able to survive and thrive, even though he missed her a lot.
About two weeks ago, my grandfather passed away. He wasn't one of those grandfathers that lives super far away and is just miserable and grumpy all the time. He was the opposite actually. He loved every minute of his life and was determined to enjoy it. He lived very close to us so my family saw him at least twice a week, usually more. He was just life a second father to me, and I've always looked up to him as a prime example on how to live life.
He was the kind of person who just enjoyed being alive, having fun, and teasing people. My family and I have so many inside jokes with him, there are too many to count. When he died, it felt like a part of me went with him, it still hurts. I think about him, and my grandmother every day, but not just in the sense of grieving and pain, but in the happy memories. Within them shining through lies the secret of life - Balance.
This may seem a little bit out of left field, but I'll show you.
I looked up to my grandfather so much because he was always happy, smiling and joking around with people. He always knew how to get someone to smile whether it was by teasing them, cracking a joke, or just being plain old sarcastic. Both of my grandparents, my grandmother in particular, had laughter that was infectious, so once you were exposed there is no denying you would be laughing too. This aspect of them both, especially my grandfather, is an integral part to the secret of life, because it was still there, maybe even stronger in the face of adversity.
For example, when my grandfather had a heart attack, about three days later he was walking around, and joking around with all the nurses. He could get everyone instantaneously on his good side. I also remember one time when we visited my grandmother in the nursing home, we were laughing for hours about an app on your phone that could make any face look very very heavy in a silly yet believe able way. We did this with several pictures of all members of my family for hours, and laughed the whole entire time. When I went home, my face hurt from smiling so much!
This brings me to my point about balance. When life throws an extreme amount of negativity at you, come back equally strong with the same about of positivity and everything will work out. If you give too much of one it will just come firing back at you. For example, sometimes my grandfather's joking around annoyed or offended people by accident. He didn't mean it, but it happened anyway, which was either embarrassing or hilarious, it depended on the circumstances. Most of the time though, it just made people smile and laugh. Positive for a positive. In the later stages of her life my grandmother became obsessed with her money because she felt that was the only thing she could control. She drove my grandfather up a wall asking for cash and bank statements, which got him very worked up and upset. negative for a negative.
I believe the fondest memory of my grandparents however was after they both had an enormous argument. I remember walking in with my parents on them talking quietly, then smiling and holding hands. The best part was they kept holding hands until they couldn't anymore. A negative turned to a positive. A reversal of balance. Their will to work it out over came their anger and they ended up loving each other by the end. Which is what most married couples do, right?
When my grandmother passed away, we honestly did expect my grandfather to fall apart. He was her whole world, and without her we expected him to just loose it. However he didn't. He rose to the occasion with the bravery and chivalry and kept on living his life despite loosing his true love. I think he was able to do this by his unquestionable doubt that she was still with him, watching over him. He told everyone of the things he had seen after he had died that he wanted to tell "Sally," my grandmother, all about. He took something horrible and made the best of it. Balance.
Now here comes the hard part, how to apply the balance. My parents always told me being an extreme of anything is a bad idea. At first I thought it only had to do with basic things like being a picky, or over-eater, or sleeping too little or too much. Only now do I realize where it matters is in your disposition and how you treat others.
Hey, I'm no expert on this whole thing. Just last week I made a girl pretty angry at me. Just today I overreacted to something I shouldn't have overreacted to. . . . I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm still learning about it, and probably will be my whole entire life. However this blog is about kindness, positivity and the way we treat others so, my main goal for now is just being that way, and maybe someday I'll turn out just like my grandfather. Who knows?
When my grandfather died, as horrible as it was, and as much I am still grieving I actually feel at peace. For some reason I feel as though something out there that was missing is now complete. Like two halves of a whole that were separated are now back together again, forever. It feels calm like a peaceful ocean. Even if there's a hurricane right now eventually the sun will rise and it will be like that once again. I hope it will. I'm counting on it.
